SEEKING HELP

If you want to seek help for yourself or others visit the following:

Chicanos Por la Causa Inc.

www. cplc. org

Alcoholics Anonymous

www.anonoymous.org

Approaching Someone about a Suspected
Drinking Problem and Communicating your Concerns

The purpose of this handout is not to transform you into a counselor, but to assist you in being helpful in a time of need.

AVOID CRISIS MANAGEMENT

• Educate yourself about alcoholism and local resources before you need to use them.
• Know your feelings and attitudes toward people with an addiction. What are your motives? Do you want to preach, punish, or criticize?
• Observe and document. Prepare in advance a list of specific problems that have occurred because of this person's drinking. Include specific times, places, and behaviors.
• Choose a location and time where you can talk in private without embarrassment or interruptions. Remember that you can't talk to an intoxicated person.
• Explore whether you are the only or the best person to approach this individual.

RAISING THE ISSUE - A "CAREFRONTATION"
You have documented behaviors, chosen an opportunity, and are ready to share your concern for the person and relate your observations. A simple model for talking to someone about a sensitive topic consists of the following elements: "I care," "I see," "I feel," LISTEN, "I want," "I will." For example:

" Jerry, I care about you. I've gotten to know you a lot this semester and our friendship means a lot to me. Last night, I saw you yell at your best friend, get sick from drinking, and insist on driving back to campus. I felt worried because this is different from how you usually act. "

LISTEN (It is important to give the person a chance to speak or ask questions and for you to show that you are concerned and willing to listen.)" I want you to talk with someone about how you've been acting when you drink alcohol. I really care about you, and I will help you find someone who can help you."

To summarize the model:

I care - describe relationship feelings
I see - specific, observable behaviors
I feel - how these behaviors affect you
LISTEN - if he/she gets angry or provokes you remind yourself to remain calm and focused on your task. Remain factual and nonjudgmental.
I want - it may be necessary to set some limits or firm resolution
I will - indicate your support, what you are willing to do to help