'Smart homeless guy' could use ASU as tool for success

"I'd be the smart homeless guy ..."

Everyone thinks they could do that. They could be one of the clever homeless guys. They'd be the MacGyver of the homeless kingdom who would make his way on the streets with only a stick of gum and some duck tape.

I myself thought I could do it better as I passed a bearded old guy slumped up against a building down on Mill Avenue. I thought to myself, "Why are you sleeping here? Why not kill some time somewhere comfortable? Just sneak into an empty classroom or find a couch in the library." No problem.

I began to think about this more often, and even brought it up with some buddies. I was surprised to hear that they also had pondered the "smart" homeless person scenarios. It's an interesting phenomenon that most everyone has taken part in. From those of us who quickly suffer past these folks on the city sidewalks, to those of us who stop on the end of a freeway ramp next to a thin weatherworn guy holding a sign that might read half-funny, but always sad. Some of us get a little shamefully irked and avoid eye contact. Others might reason that if they were in his position (which of course they never will be), they'd know how to pull themselves up by the bootstraps.

"I'd be the smart homeless guy."

"Hey man! Why stink and smell rancid? Why not just sneak into the dorm showers? But before you do that, why don't you grab one of those free Old Spice sample deodorants from the pretty young women outside of the Student Recreation Complex. They've got thousands of' hygiene samples to give away to wealthy college kids. What's one for an old scruffy homeless man on his way to a hot shower?

"After you clean up real nice, you'll be ready to swing by the Career Fest in the Memorial Union to apply for that job that everyone says you should get. Beware: IT majors are in demand. But don't fret if the interview falls through because you might score some free food. As any "smart" homeless guy knows, the second floor of the MU is loaded with conferences and coalitions snacking on Papa John's and stale Marriott cookies. It's a veritable feast and all for the "smart" homeless to gorge on. It's that simple, old man. Give it a try. I've thought it all out! I know what I'd do."

Everyone has an opinion on what they would do to raise the standard of living if they were homeless. But they are not homeless. They're secure in their cozy apartments and dorm rooms, away from the traffic and street crime. They're safe from the demoralizing thoughts that circle through the minds of many homeless persons, keeping them from anything proactive, let alone coy and clever. The fact is that those who are living on the streets don't need our strategic advice on how to beat the system by scoring a couch and a slice of pizza. They need our compassion and genuine help. Don't ignore that tinge of guilt that makes you look the other way. Look right at these people and feel the urgency to do something.

Guest columnist Eugene O'Sullivan is a music and entrepreneurship interdisciplinary studies junior and can be reached at ectoblast@hotmail.com.

I thought to myself, "Why are you sleeping here? Why not kill some time somewhere comfortable? Just sneak into an empty classroom or find a couch in the library." No problem.