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Doom's Dayby Justin Doom |
Watch any (yawn) baseball this weekend? Me neither.
As a sports soothsayer of sorts, there wasn't much point. Everything that transpired was scripted weeks, if not months, ago -- the prominent predictability kept pace only with the ending in For Love of the Game, the baseball movie with more holes than Bobby Valentine's head.
Clutch to the Mth degree
Speaking of the moronic Mets manager, just like last year, he's watching his team choke away a sizable lead with barely a week to play. Sunday saw them swept by the Phillies for their sixth consecutive loss. After spoon-feeding Atlanta the division title, New York watched helplessly as Cincinnati streaked to a one-game lead in the wild card race.
The Mets, whose biggest worry a few weeks ago was settling on a postseason rotation, wouldn't even be in the postseason had it started today.
The only bright spot was that instead of hiding in the dugout tunnel while wearing a ridiculous-looking, Groucho Marx moustache and glasses get-up, Valentine finally said what everyone's long been yearning to hear: If the Mets don't make the playoffs, he should be fired.
And who could possibly disagree (other NL managers notwithstanding)?
It would be a shame to waste MVP-caliber years by Robin Ventura and Edgardo Alfonso, but with three of their remaining six games against the Braves, it's a very real possibility.
Congrats to the 'Backs
Completely predictable baseball occurrence No. 2 was the Diamondbacks buying, er winning, the National League West crown.
Arizona traveled to San Francisco, needing but one win over its most bitter rival to clinch. Randy Johnson, naturally, went the full nine innings in a 11-3 victory, allowing five hits and no earned runs while striking out 11. As if that weren't enough, the D-Backs won the following two games to complete a three-game sweep.
Talk once again arose over whether the D-Backs should move to the American League when baseball realigns for the 2001 season; oddly enough it was started up by Giants owner Peter McGowan.
Hmm... how weird. Wonder if he's still bitter at all about the bottomless abyss known as Jerry Colangelo's pocketbook?
The one thing you can't take away from Jerry, though, is at least he threw the coin at the right players. Johnson, Matt Williams, and Jay Bell have played brilliantly, proving that money only matters when it's in the right hands.
Or, in other words, if you're not the Dodgers or Orioles.
More trouble a-Brewin'
Like always, whenever baseball sees anything go awry, the safe money is on the Brewers somehow being involved.
After persevering through their seventh consecutive losing season, one that's seen their manager fired and GM replaced, the Brew Crew was faced with by far the most horrific tragedy of any ballclub this season.
In April, a freak construction accident saw one of the world's largest cranes topple over and kill three ironworkers at Miller Park, Milwaukee's new stadium that was set to open next spring. But now it will now open in the spring of 2001.
Friday night, something equally bizarre but thankfully not nearly as catastrophic, took place at the Brewers' current home, Milwaukee County Stadium.
A 23-year-old Brewers fan burst onto the field in the sixth inning and attacked Houston Astros right fielder Billy Spiers. The man was said to have ran up on Spiers from behind and jumped on his back, effectively piggybacking him. "Like he was riding a horse," said Brewers pitcher David Weathers.
Teammates ran over and helped wrestle the man away from Spiers, who left with a sore neck after finishing the inning. The man who assaulted him remains in custody with charges pending.
"I don't know what's up with a guy like that," said Milwaukee fan Robert Beaudoin, "but the way this season has gone, just about anything can happen. I'll be glad when this season is over."
Beaudoin witnessed the attack as well as 61 other Brewers games this year, which leaves one to wonder who deserves more pity: Spiers, or anyone who's sat though that many Brewers games.
Know of any other un-unforeseen baseball oddities that weren't mentioned here? E-mail them to this columnist at justin.doom@asu.edu.
